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December 1st, 2005
Costa Rica has been disputing Nicaragua’s refusal to allow Costa Rica police patrol boats to carry weapons on the San Juan river that separates Nicaragua and Costa Rica. I guess they are fearful that our staunch Fuerza Publica will cross the river and attack their country.
I am not sure 1. who would really WANT Nicaragua anyway, and 2. if our staunch Fuerza Publica could actually pull off an invasion as they have a tough enough time dealing with pickpockets, car thieves, and petty crime in San Jose. The idea of our boys in blue actually facing a real army (yes, Nicaragua has one), who carry REAL weapons might be mildly (though briefly) amusing as THAT battle would certainly last no longer than 4 minutes, which thankfully is sufficient time to call George Bush.
Rather than fight (an intelligent choice as WE have no army), Costa Rica decided to send the dispute to the International Court. Now THAT has royally torqued off Nicaragua’s foreign minister, Normal Caldera, who is now saying that his country will ask that Costa Rica give back Guanacaste. I can’t WAIT to hear what Marriott says about that! Can you imagine all those fine folk shelling out $500 – $2,000 per night at the Four Seasons just to wake up to the Nicaragua army enjoying a dip in their pool?
Sooo… Nicaragua claims that Guanacaste belongs to Nicaragua and was illegally seized by Costa Rica back in 1825. I guess it has taken the Nicas about 180 years to realize 1. they don’t have Guanacaste any more and 2. they got screwed. Sorta like the American Indians on that Manhatten deal I betcha.
Caldera now sez that his country is analyzing the possibility of reclaiming Guanacaste from Costa Rica.
Costa Rica agrees that the river belongs to Nicaragua and has never made a claim for it. Thank goodness! All CR wants is for their patrol boats to be able to be armed… IMHO not an unreasonable request as the peace loving folks on the other side are most likely carrying heavy weapons.
Costa Rica’s president, (the not so very) Abel Pacheco, said that he won’t do diddly squat as because, quote, “it is out of place”.
Note to tourists and real estate buyers/owners:
Although this story IS 100% factual, don’t get all panicky about an attack from the North. This will probably all get resolved as soon as the Nicas cool down about one of their local felons getting eaten the other night by a Rottweiler as he was visiting a bodega in the middle of the night…. to visit his girlfriend. And if it doesn’t, we’ll just call George!Filed under Costa Rica, Humor, Politics, Travel | Comments (17)